My name is Stephanie and this is my story…

First Impression
I had just graduated college. I was out with my friends celebrating at the local bar. As I was dancing, I looked over and saw an attractive man, leaning against the wall, looking at me. I continued to dance with my friends, waiting to see if he would approach me. He eventually came over to dance with me. He ended up getting my number and we continued to dance. At one point, he just walked off and I thought to myself “what an asshole.” My first mistake was not listening to that very first thought I had of him and his actions.

Prince Charming…or Not
He ended up reaching out to me and we went on a date. He did all the things I wanted a man to do; he opened my door, paid on dates, made me laugh, took me to fun and different places, was consistent, and seemed kind and loving. This man swept me off my feet. He would plan picnics in the park and finish the night with a romantic dinner in a lighthouse. He would pick me up and take me into the city for a romantic dinner cruise and then out to my favorite club to go dancing. I would then come home to a stuffed animal and rose on my bed with a cute note that he gave my sister to put there. He would come in the middle of the night and leave roses on my car, with chocolate-covered strawberries and a love note. He did things I only saw happen in movies. Little did I know that what I thought was my dream come true, was actually about to become my worst nightmare.

Where Did I Go?
I always thought of myself as a strong woman. My mother raised me to stand up for myself, demand respect from others, and to make sure men treated me like a lady. I was the woman who didn’t take shit from anyone and was not afraid to say how I felt. I had certain standards for how I wanted and expected to be treated by a man. This man took all that from me, or rather, I allowed him to take it from me. He said all the right things and his actions matched none of them. When you hear the phrase “actions speak louder than words” BELIEVE IT! He manipulated me, slowly chipped away at my self-esteem, and played with my mind.
My mother taught me to pay attention to the red flags. I knew this. He showed me hundreds of red flags as our relationship went on and I just kept explaining them away. He showed me who he was. He showed me his true colors and I did as most do when they love someone – I ignored them and convinced myself otherwise.
I did break up with him earlier on in the relationship, but I went back. This was the WORST decision I could have made. Now, he had me. He now knew what I said was worth shit – I was dead in the water.
He treated me worse than before. I became a shell of a person. That strong, vibrant, sassy, take-no-shit, loving, confident woman was GONE. This man emotionally broke me down. He made me feel lower than dirt. I could have stood on my head, juggled, and sung a song and it would have not been good enough. I gave up all my power to be with him. The only way I could be with him was to sacrifice myself and who I was. Sadly, I did just that.

From Devastated to Never Again
Eventually, the best day came. He broke up with me. Of course, I was absolutely devastated because I had allowed this man to completely destroy every part of me. Then, one day, I was just done. I was done allowing him to have power over me. I was done allowing him to control my life and emotions. I was DONE with him. I was taking my power BACK! That enlightened day, I decided I would NEVER allow another man or human being to have that much power over me ever again. From that day forward I was committed to ME. I would always choose myself first. I would always love myself first. I was committed to working on myself and making the relationship with me so strong, so unbreakable that no person would ever be able to break me down like that again.
I would never lose myself again. I realized I needed to get back to what was important and that was healing my relationship with myself. You see, I had betrayed myself. I had allowed a man to destroy who I was as a person. I broke the contract I had with myself to always love and put myself first. From that day on, I told myself I would never love anyone more than I loved myself. My relationship with myself was the most important one and I would never let anyone come along and ruin that again.

The Vow
I made a vow that day to choose myself first, always. Since that day, that is exactly what I have done. The most important relationship in my life is the one with myself. I love myself fully and will always remind myself how much I am loved. I have my own back, and no one will change that ever again. I will always protect my relationship with me and any person who tries to come along and jeopardize that will be shown the door.
I had to realize that I had to make myself happy. I could not look to outside sources to love me and provide me with my happiness. I had to provide that for myself. This relationship was the worst and best thing that ever happened to me. Although it tore me down to a level, I never thought possible, it built me up to be stronger than I ever knew I could be.

My Journey to YOU
That is why I am so very grateful for that relationship. That relationship brought me here – here to YOU!
After that experience, I knew it was my life’s mission and purpose to help others build themselves back up, learn to fully love themselves, and, most importantly, know to ALWAYS choose themselves first.
You are strong, you are beautiful, you are worth it, and you are a badass! You deserve everything you want out of life. You deserve to have the most wonderful, fulfilling, healthy, and beautiful relationships. I want you to become so strong and so unbreakable that no person will ever be able to fracture your relationship with you again. Your relationship with you is number one and your love for yourself is what is most important. You deserve to BE, DO and HAVE ANYTHING you want in this life – I mean ANYTHING! It is time to build back that armor and become the warrior that I know you are. It is time to Choose YOU First. LET’S DO THIS!